MONTAGUE PACE-EGGING PLAY 2021

(script by Will Quale,
performed by the Montague Mummers, Easter 2021)

PRESIDENT BIDEN

	Room, room, brave gallants all,
	'Tis but once a year I call!

	In comes I, 
	Amtrak Joe Biden
	With my infrastructure plan, 
	Soon more trains we'll be ridin'

	If Congress gives me the money, 
	I'll give you a smidge
	To finally repair 
	The Center Street Bridge

 	But here's one without whose help 
 	I would not have won the day:
	Enter Stacey Abrams 
	And clear the way!

STACEY ABRAMS

	In comes I, 
	And I bring my Fair Fight
	So the people can vote -- 
	That's their Constitutional right!

	Though I've not got a seat 
	In the state house or Congress,
	I will stand up for you 
	And keep fighting for progress

	To all rural folk 
	Who their government distrust
	I help them to see 
	The vaccine's safe, moral, and just

ESSENTIAL WORKERS

	Here we are, weary workers, 
	Not presidential
	But throughout the pandemic 
	We've been essential

	The Right gives us lip service 
	But not living wages
	Worse still, now they want 
	To take away equal suffrages	

	Worst of all, going maskless 
	Is all their delight
	While we wait on vaccines 
	And keep working, in fright	

FAR RIGHT

	Here we are, 
	The farthest Right Guys
	Still enthralled by The Donald, 
	Caught up in Big Lies

	We care about profits 
	And winning elections
	We change laws as we please 
	And support insurrections

	And if you want votes, 
	Well, you're just out of luck
	In Georgia, our law won: 
	So now you're just--

ESSENTIAL WORKERS (interrupting)

	Mince pies cold, 
	Mince pies hot
	The Right wins the fight, 
	Whether right or not

[THEY FIGHT; ESSENTIAL WORKERS AREN'T WINNING]

PRESIDENT BIDEN

	Horrible, terrible, 
	See how they go!
	Destroying democracy 
	Just like Jim Crow!

	And letting their citizens 
	Spread COVID like crazy
	Some 'cause they're bad, 
	But most 'cause they're lazy

STACEY ABRAMS

	I'll bring my Fair Fight 
	And stand in between
	To fend off the Right
	While you get the vaccines

[STACEY ABRAMS INTERVENES; THE FAR RIGHT RETREAT, STAGE RIGHT.]

PRESIDENT BIDEN & STACEY ABRAMS

	Is there a doctor 
	Anywhere to be found
	To cure these essential workers 
	Of their deep and deadly wound?

DOCTOR FAUCI

	Yes, there's a doctor 
	Here to be found
	To cure these workers 
	Of their deep and deadly wound.

	For any kind of ailment, 
	From the smallest little ouch-ie
	To a worldwide pandemic, 
	I'm your doctor, Doctor Fauci!

PRESIDENT BIDEN

	Have you got experience 
	Fighting this pandemic?

DOCTOR FAUCI

	I've suffered for it.

PRESIDENT BIDEN

	And how have you suffered?

DOCTOR FAUCI

	I worked for Trump--

PRESIDENT BIDEN

	Enough said -- YOU'RE HIRED!

	Now please vaccinate these people 
	Before this play gets too long
	And then we will all
	Sing the Pace Egging Song!

[DOCTOR FAUCI VACCINATES PEOPLE]

DOCTOR FAUCI

	By Pfizer, Moderna, 
	And one-shot Johnson & Johnson
	Rise up like the Sun, 
	And fight for your rights again!

ALL SING Montague Pace-Egging Song

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